Posted by: Steph | June 8, 2010

The Levels of Flirting

Begin by reading about them at my friend’s brilliant blog

Please note that the key to assessing the level is in the combination of words and actions, and the context.

So my 2 cents?

1. This is language that has been lacking in my life. It is so much easier to recap situations by saying things such as “well I think he was F2ing me, but I responded with an F1 level only…” – or “I was absolutely F2ing him but I don’t think he caught on. Idiot”.

2. I just learned about the whole “mouth glance” thing last week and now I’m worried that I do it unintentionally. Furthermore, I know (thanks to the power of video) that I use my mouth a lot in making odd expressions when I speak – so am I subtly drawing attention to my mouth and unintentionally flirting?

3. We have been joking about this for the last week in my office and although I always thought I was a decent flirter, I have been put to shame by some (maybe one) office mate.

4. People think of flirting without intent as trivial – but the thing is, I do believe that it is a sincere base of connection when done properly – by properly I mean authentically.

5. For someone to flirt authentically they have to reveal something of themselves. This may be what I enjoy the most – finding out a little more about someone and seeing a new side of them. I actually get a bit of a buzz from it.

6. Charm and flirting go hand in hand. Flirting without charm is… like the guy who came up to me at the bar to talk about my body parts. Or anyone who jumps in at the wrong level.

7. Very few people can flirt concurrently with more than one person. Know your limits.

8. F1 someone new today.

9. Note to self: Flirting is not a competitive sport. Although it once was many years ago when I was a very ridiculous teenage girl with similarly silly friends, we had point systems and everything (end game was not anything scandalous, more innocent time). Maybe I will tell you the story one day. Maybe not.


  1. So I’m not going to go point by point, tempting though it is.

    But thank-you for prodding me to write said blog post, and talking me through my thoughts on that long hilarious ride to the non-existent volleyball game.

    I had a lot of yeses reading through your points, except for #7. Define concurrently. I wouldn’t try to charm a whole room unless you’re Bill Clinton or can make every single person in the room feel like you’re only flirting with them — dangerous when you’re caught because everyone feels that you lied to them.

    However, I think you can and should F1 and F2 multiple people during the day. Multiple F3ing and F4ing would take so much effort. You’d have to be very practiced at it to do it with ease.

  2. When does flirting cross the line from fun to evil? Really looking for that line… Also need some advice on subtlety.. though I don’t think you are the person to ask.

    Steph – so glad you are writing more.

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