Posted by: Steph | February 13, 2007

So cold it is stupid

I know it is very trendy to gush about Karen in blogs these days, and I am going to tap into this trend. Karen’s bluntness is fantastic, but she deserves credit for also being insightful, thoughtful, and always standing up and taking responsibility for herself and her environment.

… this isn’t a random gush – I want to pass along credit to her because I came away from chatting with her with an insight last night. As you have all seen from my blogs, I am losing patience with “the problem” and the 601 in general (I have no idea why but the attempted coup just crossed the line), but now, thanks to Karen, I understand better why. (Disclaimer: Most of my team is great, I’m just uptight about this sort of thing and it is a value clash and they remain high on my cocktail party list) Most of my team members think “the problem” is a hinderance to the team but can’t be bothered to confront him, or kick him out. They have claimed that if we kick him out he will make life difficult for us and may try to manipulate the situation…They prefer to ignore him and just work behind his back. In my opinion, this gives the message that it is ok to lie, perform poorly, and consistently treat the team members like doormats. I am not comfortable with this attitude that screams out “I am a carpet, walk all over me”.

Maybe it doesn’t matter as far as the 601 is concerned but it matters as far as life is concerned. And if someone else on the team was the target of “the problem” I would have intervened and said that the behaviour was unacceptable. So I guess I’m disappointed that so many people that I really like are acting like total wimps (polite way of saying it). I should mention that I am the one who “the problem” blames for the group being against it so I am the one dealing with the discreet aggression and occasional attacks.

A few team members have said that they will stand up to him next time.. and if they do I will be proven wrong, but until then I don’t think I trust that I won’t continue to be the one dealing. Which means that emotionally, it is more difficult to be invested in the team. I’m tempted to stop doing anything since there is absolutely zero consequences for terrible behaviour on this team. I say that now but I could never live with myself if I did stop performing. And anyway, my team members are better than I am at some things and I know I have no right to be all… whatever.

Sincerity is very important to me and I suppose that I cannot reconcile having zero respect for someone and pretending that they are an active contributing team member. I don’t like to lose credibility.

Anyway, thanks Karen for the outside perspective. It was a somewhat depressing reality that I got to see, but… insight is always good.

I promise to be happy and hopefully more amusing tomorrow. Now I have 10 pages to write by tomorrow.


  1. Each and every one of us needs to have the integrity and guts to speak up when someone is behaving in an unacceptable manner. The fact that people continue to look the other way instead of dealing with it does little to help the human spirit, in fact it dampens it.

    Hey 601 group: WAKE UP! – it doen’t get any easier in the real world and you are not doing yourself or “the problem” any favours by ignoring it now.

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