Posted by: Steph | February 1, 2007

The problem is mine.

I want to scream!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I have now asked “the problem” for two simple documents a total of six times. He ignored the first three requests and then sent the wrong stuff three times in a row. The sixth time I asked, I literally begged him to read the email carefully. I could not have been clearer and there is no language issue. Well, along with the incorrect stuff, labeled incorrectly, I received a nasty, insulting, condescending, vaguely threatening, and extremely aggressive email. I would love to post the whole exchange to prove that I am not insane but that would identify “the problem’s” true identity.

And I caught him in three more lies today – without even being in the same room.

So why do I say that that problem is mine? Well, I’m the furious one who will have trouble focusing. He is no doubt sleeping soundly. I am the one who will need to sift through old documents to put together what he was supposed to send me (yes I officially give up asking him), he… again… is sleeping. I am the one who is angry at the injustice of one team member being such a consistent waste of oxygen… he has no moral compass and therefore does not care.

I need to just get over it. Even though I will have to do more work by letting him get away with this (or or work will suffer) the emotional toll is not worth it. Why engage with someone I have zero respect for as a human being? I don’t negotiate/collaborate with liars and I don’t respect people who don’t take responsibility for their own actions. To engage in battle means that I have already lost since he doesn’t play by the rules of civilized society.

So…_________…whatever. No more interaction from this end.

My goal this weekend: To not let him stress me out. Not sure how to answer his email. I need to not let my ego get in the way. It’s tempting to write back a laundry list exposing the inconsistencies with objective reality but that would accomplish nothing. To try to resolve it with him is useless because it’s like negotiating with terrorists – never ends well. If you can’t trust someone you can’t work together. I’ll just ignore it. He might feel he “won” and that’s just fine. There is no winning here.



  1. post the email. what have you got to lose?

  2. integrity.

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