Posted by: Steph | February 1, 2007

The problem is mine.

I want to scream!!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I have now asked “the problem” for two simple documents a total of six times. He ignored the first three requests and then sent the wrong stuff three times in a row. The sixth time I asked, I literally begged him to read the email carefully. I could not have been clearer and there is no language issue. Well, along with the incorrect stuff, labeled incorrectly, I received a nasty, insulting, condescending, vaguely threatening, and extremely aggressive email. I would love to post the whole exchange to prove that I am not insane but that would identify “the problem’s” true identity.

And I caught him in three more lies today – without even being in the same room.

So why do I say that that problem is mine? Well, I’m the furious one who will have trouble focusing. He is no doubt sleeping soundly. I am the one who will need to sift through old documents to put together what he was supposed to send me (yes I officially give up asking him), he… again… is sleeping. I am the one who is angry at the injustice of one team member being such a consistent waste of oxygen… he has no moral compass and therefore does not care.

I need to just get over it. Even though I will have to do more work by letting him get away with this (or or work will suffer) the emotional toll is not worth it. Why engage with someone I have zero respect for as a human being? I don’t negotiate/collaborate with liars and I don’t respect people who don’t take responsibility for their own actions. To engage in battle means that I have already lost since he doesn’t play by the rules of civilized society.

So…_________…whatever. No more interaction from this end.

My goal this weekend: To not let him stress me out. Not sure how to answer his email. I need to not let my ego get in the way. It’s tempting to write back a laundry list exposing the inconsistencies with objective reality but that would accomplish nothing. To try to resolve it with him is useless because it’s like negotiating with terrorists – never ends well. If you can’t trust someone you can’t work together. I’ll just ignore it. He might feel he “won” and that’s just fine. There is no winning here.

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Responses

  1. post the email. what have you got to lose?

  2. integrity.


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